Thursday, October 22, 2009

The 1 Peter 3:3-6 Women

I've finally gotten around to writing the long awaited post on Godly Womanhood.

1 Peter 3:3-6 (NKJV)

3 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.

When you have that sweet attitude in adversity it's that same incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. (See, it's a quiet spirit. Not stressed and agitated, but at peace.) The holy women trusted in God. You can't be quiet in spirit if you don't trust God. You can sound quiet on the outside, but be a churning mess inside. God doesn't want us to just hide our feelings, and bottle them up, but to trust Him. If we trust Him we won't be a churning mess.

I remember a time in my life when I went through quite a bit of hurt. It was probably one of the worst times I have ever gone through. (Ranks in the top 5) I felt like almost everyone I knew (my family, my friends, my church, etc.) had abandon me to whatever came my way, and I was drowning in fear and hurting badly.

After a few months I got tough. I didn't feel the pain as much. I didn't cry anymore. I hardly flinched at pain. My heart was all bricked up. Somewhere after this God told me I needed to soften my heart and let the barriers come down. I told Him I couldn't do it. When I said I couldn't do it, I really meant it. So God broke them down for me. It was like He destroyed in one second all the walls I had built over the months... and turned up the heat on my emotions. I cried so easily for the next few months. Anything would make me cry. I couldn't help myself.

The strangest thing I found was I had been proud of the fact that I was finally a tough girl. It was something my older sister seemed to be good at, and was always criticising me for not being tough enough. However God did not want me tough. He wanted me soft hearted, sensitive, vulnerable. I couldn't understand it at first. Why, why why?! When all of the culture around me said that the tougher you are the better? That was my silver lining in all the grey clouds, and God took it away from me because He didn't like it?

I remember crying to God one day during this stage saying that I felt like no-one cared about me. No-one would protect me. No-one would stand up for me. Not to mention that I felt incredibly vulnerable - more so than I had been before the whole mess had started.

Merriam-Webster's defines vulnerable this way:

1 : capable of being physically or emotionally wounded
2 : open to attack or damage

I didn't want to be any of that... and I don't know anyone who really likes being hurt.

Anyway after I had finished my spill, and started really crying God told me that He would protect me, He would vindicate me, He would provide for me, and take care of me, He cared and He loved me, etc. (A promise I've held on to many a time!)

God did keep His word to me. He has protected me, and after He pulled down the walls I had built around myself He did guard my heart and keep me from further pain. Over the next few months He healed the pain and dealt with all the problems that had arisen physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

This actually had some interesting "side affects". I used to be a very happy child. (Well... my name says it all!) However over the years I had gotten more and more serious, and it was like I had forgotten how to laugh to some extent. I just didn't have much reason to be happy. Once God healed my heart I was able to laugh - and laugh at lot. I'm one of the happiest people I know now!

God had to teach me a different sort of courage. It was several years before I was able to reach the point I have now, where I can truly say I trust God despite circumstances. I can only be at peace because I've put my trust in God completely.

It takes more guts to trust God to take care of you, and to love when it hurts than it does to be tough as a man and fight your way to the top. (And God bless the men with their strength. We need them like that, but that isn't how He made us.)

So, that is why I've come to the conclusion that God doesn't want us women to be tough like the men. He didn't make us men, He made us women. He made us gentle and breakable. That doesn't mean that our only emotions are those that fall into these categories, but that we shouldn't trample our emotions, and try to be tough like the men.


Anonymous said...

Hi Felicity,

This is Jay's Mom... That was a really good post! What a blessing that you have already learned this lesson. It is one that many wives have not learned. With all of the feminist sophistry many young ladies lose the very thing that men need in a wife. God made us to be soft and responsive to our husbands, to life. Our courage and strenghth comes from God inside of us. We can be 'tough' but is God's toughness not acting like a man.

I am sorry you had to go through so much to learn it. I am still learning it myself. And I have been through similar times when nobody seemed to care or understand. I have heard my Lord say to me though that He cares and does understand. That is what has carried me through so much. Keep digging in His word, saturate yourself with it. There can be much joy in the midst of tears.

Joyfully serving my God and my family,
Mrs. Lauser

Felicity said...

Thanks Mrs Lauser!

Yes, I see what you are saying, and do agree. I avoided using the term tough because it's so often associated with being macho. Thus why I used strength instead.

You said, "There can be much joy in the midst of tears."

I agree, but I think the most glorious thing that I have seen in my life (and partly what inspired me to write this) is that when trouble comes if I am firmly trusting in God, I will not be shaken by the storms, and though I might be hurt, it won't hurt the same, and there isn't that dispair and/or feeling of helplessness.

Joyfully His,


Carissa said...

Hi Felicity,

I agree completely! Great post!

I used to try to be tough, also. But God has taught me basically the same thing that He taught you... Though in a less dramatic way.

As Mrs. Lauser said, I am very thankful that God has shown this to us already. (though, of course, it would have been nice to learn it even sooner...)

Anyway, good job on the post!


Your baby (aka Carissa)

Felicity said...

Thanks Bubs!

I'm glad you were able to learn in a less painful way.

Love Mumsies