The 1 Peter 3:3-6 Women

I've finally gotten around to writing the long awaited post on Godly Womanhood.

1 Peter 3:3-6 (NKJV)

³ Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— ⁴ rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. ⁵ For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, ⁶ as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.

When you have that sweet attitude in adversity it's that same incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. (See, it's a quiet spirit. Not stressed and agitated, but at peace.) The holy women trusted in God. You can't be quiet in spirit if you don't trust God. You can sound quiet on the outside, but be a churning mess inside. God doesn't want us to just hide our feelings, and bottle them up, but to trust Him. If we trust Him we won't be a churning mess.

I remember a time in my life when I went through quite a bit of hurt. It was probably one of the worst times I have ever gone through. (Ranks in the top 5) I felt like almost everyone I knew (my family, my friends, my church, etc.) had abandon me to whatever came my way, and I was drowning in fear and hurting badly.

After a few months I got tough. I didn't feel the pain as much. I didn't cry anymore. I hardly flinched at pain. My heart was all bricked up. Somewhere after this God told me I needed to soften my heart and let the barriers come down. I told Him I couldn't do it. When I said I couldn't do it, I really meant it. So God broke them down for me. It was like He destroyed in one second all the walls I had built over the months... and turned up the heat on my emotions. I cried so easily for the next few months. Anything would make me cry. I couldn't help myself.

The strangest thing I found was I had been proud of the fact that I was finally a tough girl. It was something my older sister seemed to be good at, and was always criticising me for not being tough enough. However God did not want me tough. He wanted me soft hearted, sensitive, vulnerable. I couldn't understand it at first. Why, why why?! When all of the culture around me said that the tougher you are the better? That was my silver lining in all the grey clouds, and God took it away from me because He didn't like it?

I remember crying to God one day during this stage saying that I felt like no-one cared about me. No-one would protect me. No-one would stand up for me. Not to mention that I felt incredibly vulnerable - more so than I had been before the whole mess had started.

Merriam-Webster's defines vulnerable this way:

1 : capable of being physically or emotionally wounded
2 : open to attack or damage

I didn't want to be any of that... and I don't know anyone who really likes being hurt.

Anyway after I had finished my spill, and started really crying God told me that He would protect me, He would vindicate me, He would provide for me, and take care of me, He cared and He loved me, etc. (A promise I've held on to many a time!)

God did keep His word to me. He has protected me, and after He pulled down the walls I had built around myself He did guard my heart and keep me from further pain. Over the next few months He healed the pain and dealt with all the problems that had arisen physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

This actually had some interesting "side affects". I used to be a very happy child. (Well... my name says it all!) However over the years I had gotten more and more serious, and it was like I had forgotten how to laugh to some extent. I just didn't have much reason to be happy. Once God healed my heart I was able to laugh - and laugh at lot. I'm one of the happiest people I know now!

God had to teach me a different sort of courage. It was several years before I was able to reach the point I have now, where I can truly say I trust God despite circumstances. I can only be at peace because I've put my trust in God completely.

It takes more guts to trust God to take care of you, and to love when it hurts than it does to be tough as a man and fight your way to the top. (And God bless the men with their strength. We need them like that, but that isn't how He made us.)

So, that is why I've come to the conclusion that God doesn't want us women to be tough like the men. He didn't make us men, He made us women. He made us gentle and breakable. That doesn't mean that our only emotions are those that fall into these categories, but that we shouldn't trample our emotions, and try to be tough like the men.